The truth, particularly in less grim times, is different: there is any sort of share to suit just about any temperament. Knight Frank 0171 629 8171.North WalesThe Clock House, Barmouth, Gwynedd. A Grade II Gothic house situated near the mouth of the Mawddach estuary, between the Snowdonia peaks and the Cader Idris Range, with beautiful views of both sea and mountains. 8 beds, 4 showers, 2 bath, 4 receps, kitchen, cloakroom, mooring, yacht berth, private slipway, 0.6 acres. pounds 450,000 Knight Frank 01432 273087.East SussexOlives Farm, Heathfield. Scotland

Dundonnell Estate, nr Ullapool, Wester Ross. An 18th-century highland laird’s house on the west coast, with a spectacular estate below the hills of An Teallach.

6 beds, 3 bath, 4 receps, garden ballroom, 3-bed cottage, walled garden, 2 let farms, salmon and sea trout fishing, stalking, low ground shoot, fish farm, 33,500 acres pounds 2m Langley-Taylor 0131 220 0576.
JerseyLa Mere, St Mary. An 18th-century house and vineyard situated on the north coast of the island in a beautiful, unspoilt rural location with sea views. 5 beds, 3 bath, 1 dressing room, 3 receps, kitchen, 2 bed cottage, outbuildings, paddocks, 5.5 acres of mature vines, orchards, purpose-built winery, 11.5 acres pounds 2.2m. Restored, re-enamelled Victorian baths from pounds 1,200.Bathshield Supplies, East Sussex, 01342 823243, has restored baths from pounds 760 for an Edwardian modelNB: If the company states that the bath has been re-enamelled get a guarantee.Re-enamellingDrummonds, as mentioned.QPE, Staffordshire, 015438 79797.ReproductionsAston Matthews, London N1, 0171-226 7220, free standing baths from pounds 580.C P Hart, 0171-902 1000, baths from pounds 550.Old Fashioned Bathrooms, Stowmarket, 01728 860926, reproductions from pounds 900.Cheat’s VersionIdeal Standard, 01482 346461, sells the perfect copy of a free-standing Victorian roll-edged bath Acrylic with iron feet, various models from pounds 934.. Nothing will ever induce me to succumb to the spiteful beauty of a fine Victorian tub in my own home..

Originals

Walcot Reclamation, Bath, 01225 444404, will sell a basic Edwardian roll- edged bath in need of re-enamelling from pounds 150, restored, with all the fittings from pounds 700.
The Water Monopoly, London NW6, 0171-624 2636, has unrestored models from around pounds 400 but mostly sells restored baths from pounds 1,000.Drummonds of Bramley, Guildford, 01483 898766, will sell unrestored baths only if they are in good condition and fit for the bathroom for around pounds 500. By the time the bath itself has warmed up, the tank is empty of hot water and you are wrinkled as a prune.Personally, I have long experience, up until I left home, of the misery of lukewarm bathing. This is not the potholing division of the Marylebone Cricket Club but the Monetary Policy Committee which is the interest rate setting division of the Bank. The MPC is relatively new, having been invented by Gordon Brown, who is the longest-serving Labour Chancellor of the Eighties and Nineties. Mr Brown has served continuously in every Labour government since 1980. This achievement is based on his sartorial elegance and ability to invent acronyms like the MPC.
Last week the MPC stunned the nation with yet another increase in interest rates.

There were the usual howls of protests from the Men in Grey that this was an unnecessary intrusion into commercial life. And the mumbo jumbo about the economy was interjected with dark threats about the prosperity of Britain’s exporters. Home owners, too, were drawn into this crude post- match analysis as the prospect of further mortgage rate increases was raised. And this was somehow interpreted as bad news for those with an interest in the property market.What a load of tosh. This latest rate increase is what is known in the trade as a pre-emptive strike against inflation.

This is neither the time nor place for an essay on “Inflation – Its Threat to the Fabric of Society”. I once tried to explain inflation to the regulars at the Fount but failed miserably due to my inability to set out clearly why it could not be cured by an extension of the Happy Hour’s half-price drinks.My view is we must concur with the MPC’s view that an interest rate rise is needed. I know it can be a bit of a pain to find that mortgage repayments are now eating up a bigger portion of take-home pay, but it is the price of stability. Put it this way, would you rather be paying out an extra pounds 12 a week on the mortgage or would you prefer in a year’s time to own a house that was worth perhaps pounds 20,000 less than the mortgage itself.What Mr George and his committee are doing is saving the property market from itself. It was not long ago that negative equity was rife and repossessions rampant. That was a function of a property market which went too far too fast.