They are handsome and there are no fatties and no scuzzy crackheads asking you for money There is a learned dignity They are really laying it on thick for us. Claridge’s, Top of the Pops, whole blocks of New York, Jermyn Street, St James’s in the morning, Foyles, Tate Modern when it’s empty, Hotel Feltrinelli Lake Garda, the Le Chat Bleu chocolaterie in Le Touquet, all have it And so does Moscow Everyone, you feel, is living life as it should be lived. All the gadgets you can get in Tokyo you can get in Moscow; tiny camcorders, flashy natty mobiles, enormous TVs, bootleg software, Hollywood films being released next week – better shopping than Tokyo, man!Some places have glamour. Parisian boulevards, American neon, trees like London; it’s got the ingredients of the rest of the world and made something of them. It’s the crispest clearest brightest September morning; T-shirt weather and shades.

By lunchtime I’d called my wife and told her to get on the next plane east There was just a lot of good things happening. The overall feeling was of starting a new school.There was a dizzying amount of new nice people, scary things, and a benign authority. The only other time we played in proper Eastern Europe was in pre-Britpop Estonia It had all the chic of a building site Moscow is a grand and elegant city. I drift off to bed.Jet lag generally tends to have quite a positive effect on me, makes me wake up at a reasonable time. He says the goulash is very spicy and am I sure and I say yes, and it is just warming and nourishing and wholesome soul casserole. Lovely and tired, we get slung out of the caf?nd repair to a neon ice-cream parlour for something small and delicious.

The one who speaks the best English tells me in perfect Oxford RP: “I don’t have a job,” like he’s telling me he’s a prince. He’s very pleased he doesn’t have a job, like it was quite hard work not to have a job but he’s managed it.He’s a philosopher, like all people with time on their hands He emanates benevolence and explains things Yes, but borscht is really from Ukraine. They offer to show me and I really can’t think of any reason why not. I kind of wanted to be alone, but as I’m signing their bootlegs I’m very taken with their gentleness and ask them where I might get some goulash. I slip out a side door to avoid the people waiting for us outside, but a handful spot me and follow. It has very wide corridors, some bits are painted gold, reception is a vast cavern There are a couple of sexy hookers in the bar.